If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
