Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
