Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
