I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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