I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
did you just send me my own nude
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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