Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
