How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
