So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we made out on top of his cat.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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