im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize