he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
