so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
