Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my shit smells like andre
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize