In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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