Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
