Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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