Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize