I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
