considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the day after is always just damage control
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
