Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
