You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
