someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He shit in the fireplace
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
