Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
