Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
