went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
