I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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