and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
