I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize