I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
