I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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