the condom got lost in my hair
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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