she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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