I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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