Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
