My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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