My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
