I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
