Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
