just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
