do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can't special order awesome
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
