Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
