i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
