i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize