Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
false alarm, still single
Randomize
