It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize