Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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