Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
