I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
