I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
