i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
