just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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