What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
