I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
