I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
the liver wants what the liver wants
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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