So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
