I am puke
...so i touched it.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
