yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
