im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
