So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
