I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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