Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
