just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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