Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
