im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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