Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
