he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He shit in the fireplace
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