I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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