Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
