I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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