If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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